Friday, December 21, 2001

Job Hunting

Boo, life has been reduced to seeking air conditioned meccas, (such as this computer lab), and checking my email and answering machine for possible job offers. Shit. I have never, in the almost 10 times I have been on a job hunt in the last 8 years, had a problem finding one. It's usually I have a problem with getting too many, and then not knowing how to turn them down. Maybe Nicole was right, maybe this is a really bad job market moment. Or maybe God is testing my broke ass, knowing I'm all brimming with employment hubris or some shit. I dunno. I just hope I get one soon, not only because I have no money and yet keep spending it like it grows on trees, but also because a week free from work and school has been nice, but I'm slowly going insane. Expecially because my options of things to do with myself and mighty limited. Example: this morning I woke up at 9 to go biking or walking, as I have been every day since I got home, but the heat stroke I nearly developed simply walking into the sauna of my bathroom was enough to make me decide to save that activity till after dark. So I went back to bed and read for a while, but eventually I felt so guilty for using the air and lying about in bed that I had to get up. So I ate some cereal, took a shower, got what? I could do laundry, but sitting in a hot, sticky, laundramat for three hours in the heat of the day seemed unwise. I could call Lisa, but she's out of town. I could go shopping, but again, this requires both money and walking around in the disgusting heat. AND looking at my sweaty, dishelved countenance in store windows. I can't stay home and clean or work on craft projects because of the aforementioned air conditioner guilt. My room doens't have a window that opens of anything, so sitting there without air is out of the question. So, what can I do? Go back to where I spent four hours of my yesterday, the freaking computer lab. Well, I DO have some more job searches to do, and some thesis research to do, but nerdy am I? To spend the day in the computer lab, and top that off with perhaps a few hours in the library. Hold Mary, mother of God. I am a bonefied geek. And not in the hip Manhattan dorky cool way, either. I need a job.

Monday, December 10, 2001

Home for Christmas

I'm going home in one week and two and half hours from RIGHT NOW. Can you tell I'm a bit anxious to get there? I can't wait - the Nard Girl 5th annual holiday party, my mother's insane Christmas decoration schemes that put Martha to shame, movie day and after-Christmas bargain hunting with mom and Em, going to visit my girl Jen at her new school...its gonna be fantastic. Not to mention living somewhere free of roaches and construction and the silent treatment for a month will be heaven on earth in and of itself.
I was just re-reading this email my wonderful mother sent out to everyone she knows inviting them to our big Christmas day extravaganza, and I just got so touched. Not touched like crazy-Southern-screws-loose-touched but the sentimental kind. My mom is just so...unique! Alot of times she comes off as attitude-y and insensitive and not a little bit out of touch with reality, but reading this email she sent made me realize that its just that she is so fucking down with herself. She doesn't need to try to pander to other's wishes or restrain her silliness or sugarcoat what she feels because she doesn't need to depend on the opinions of others. She is just like, Fuck it, I am Queen Julie and I am the Shit. I wish I was like that. Maybe I will be someday...she had to go through alot of crazy shit to become to comfortable with just being who she is, consquences be damned. All I know is that no matter what differences (or similarities) have put us at odds over the years, my mom is fucking cool as shit and I want to be just like her. Except for maybe the perms. Promise me no one will ever let me get a perm at Carla's Casa de Beauty, ok?